I guess everyday can not be a Happy day.
Firstly Otis is holding his own. Although I do notice some changes since starting on this medication. He is still always the happy bubbly little guy who wants for nothing other than to play ball or snuggle up with his dad.
I have spent three days trying to change the thermostat on the van. Now with the engine having many parts removed in hopes that I was going to be able to get to the thermostat, I find that I need a 13mm 6 point wrench. HaHaHa, I do not own such a creature. I have been to every store that I know that sells tools. While they carry a wide variety of wrenches, none of them sell 6 point only 12 point. I tried tool rental places and no luck, I even tried Snap On tools no go. I asked the few neighbors that I know and that are handy people and have tools, they too only have 12 point wrenches.
This job can not be completed with out this f’ ‘ing wrench. I considered just busting the Thermostat housing and getting a new one. At least I would be able to get the friggin bolt out after the fact. I phoned my local auto parts place to find out how much it will cost for this piece of cast aluminium. (This can only happen to me.) They can not get me one, none of the places they deal with have such an item. Guess it is a good thing I didn’t just go ahead and bust it and then phone.
I then phoned a automotive place to enquire about getting the job done and letting someone else worry about the headache part of it. Well I may have to go this route next month, Otis’s medical bills have left me barren so as long as nothing else happens I will be free and clear. $216.00 plus 13% tax. That is a lot of money to have a thermostat changed. Plus to think of all the hours I have spent taking everything apart only to meet defeat. And have to put everything back together to get the van there to have all that stuff removed again.
I got a line on a wench so maybe if the guy from Mac Tools that services my area returns my call tomorrow I can get the wrench as they carry them for a small $26.00 plus 13% tax. Keeping my fingers crossed. I don’t like the idea of being defeated by a stupid bolt.
Further into my day, Now this did not come up as a surprise at all, in fact I have been bracing for it for a week. My house mate had to put her dog to sleep today. I had already dug the hole for her to be placed in the back yard. As much as I gripped about being stuck looking after her dog, I mean I fed her every day for the past 5 years that I have been here. I really have to say that I loved the dog almost as much as I love Otis.
So I took her over to the Vet this afternoon for the 3 o’clock appointment. I stayed with her and the dog for the whole procedure. And of course I cried. I will miss her. I know that it was for the best. She had a really good 13 years. She had cancerous growths happening and one day last week my housemate gave her dog a bath and in the process of that some hair that was matted on her ear came un-matted only to display a two inch open wound that was full of blood and pus. This one came as a total surprise. We were use to many of these wounds that actually start out as some type of wart. In the past month or so you could not touch her ears as they hurt so badly from these growths. She also had developed Arthritis and had to be on pain medication daily. So as hard as it was the decision was made. I carried Willow from the Office to the car wrapped in a blanket, once we were home I carried her from the car and placed her in her grave. We added her favorite treat and a golf ball (she was crazy for golf balls).
Good night sweet Willow, I know that we (Otis and I) will see you again when we too cross over the rainbow bridge.
I have also dug another whole right next to Willows final resting place for her sister Emma the cat, who will be placed there later this week. Emma is 14 years old and can barely walk due to Arthritis. As beautiful and loving as she is. A little bit of a bad thing has developed. Emma has taken to peeing every where in the house, that might have a loose piece of clothing or a bath towel or someones slippers or bag or anything. I have prepared myself for this event too. I just don’t know which day it is happening.
Of course this may well be Otis’s last resting spot as well (not right now). I have made the decision that if this medication does not take care of him that I will have to say my goodbyes. The Vet explained to me that because his seizures are the result of brain damage that there is no knowing where this will go. I spent everything I had and more last month, I was unable to go shopping last month at all so I rationed the small amount of food that I had left in my cupboards to make it last for the month. I am sure that many will have lots to say about my decision. I have to look after myself as well. If I get sick who looks after Otis? It hurts me badly to think that this may have to happen. It hurts me more to know that he is hurting and with each seizure there is more damage done. As long as the medication is doing it’s job we are going to be okay.
Until such time I spend every moment I can with Otis, giving him the best life that I can. I can assure you that had I known I was going to end up the way I am I would never have even entertained the thought of taking on such a responsibility. I also know that Otis would not have had any life at all had I not taken him as he was slated for disposal because he was not a show quality dog.
I have also made another decision. Once I have said my good byes to my best friend, that there will be no more. I will go the rest of my journey on my own. Then I will find out what the real meaning of loneliness is.
Here’s to tomorrow, may it bring with it something good for everyone.
Have a great day those of you who choose to read my ramblings.