The Kind Of Day You Wish Could Be Your Last

Today has been one of those days that you wish you could just go to sleep and not wake up again. All I did yesterday was walk to the Pharmacy and grocery store. I didn’t carry anything heavy home. The pain levels are almost beyond what I can handle. There is no comfort in sitting, laying down or standing. Walking is another issue.

I did my best to take it all in stride. This morning I decided to make cinnamon rolls as last week I had made bread with a new recipe, I found it to be too sweet to have as a regular bread for sandwiches or such. It would probably be good for french toast. I thought that it might just be good for cinnamon rolls.

So I got my bread started and let it rise and then instead of shaping it for bread or buns I rolled it out, brushed it over with melted butter, sprinkled it with a layer of sugar then a layer of cinnamon and topped it off with raisins. Rolled it up and let it rise again and this is what I got.

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After this adventure was complete and the clean up was done I laid down for awhile and watched the Olympics on TV.

I had been planing to make a Greek Quiche from a recipe provided by I Am A Honey Bee’s blog page. After having rested up I went a head and made the mixture for the Quiche. 9 inch pie crusts must be shallower in Canada than in the United States as I got two 9 inch Quiches out of the one recipe.  They turned out like this.

Greek QuicheI was Happy with this, although I was unsure about using my Convection Oven for it. I researched and found that I had two choices to go with this reduce the cooking time or reduce the temp. I chose to reduce the temp. Still they cooked a little bit more than I would have liked on the outside edges. What to do now with all of this quiche? I plated it up and took one down stairs to the old fellow that resides in the basement apartment and two more plates to take next door to the neighbor lady and her foster child. On each plate I put a slice of quiche and a serving of Greek Salad that I put together. Each got a cinnamon bun for desert. The plates looked like this.

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Nothing fancy  looking by any way shape or form. I gave them away before I had even tried them myself. Well please to say that it was a really nice meal. I asked my neighbor if she could return the containers (tupperware) when she had finished. Adding that there was no rush to get them back but some day. (I hope that wasn’t rude) Anyhow I have no feedback other than my own taste and I liked it. Thank you I Am A Honey Bee for providing me with this fantastic meal.

Now the day is done I have to find away to rid myself of this back pain. I seem to be on a downward spiral lately. While the option of having the drugs increased is always there, I am too afraid that it will take away my freedoms, my ability to function as a human being. Having been down that road once before I am to afraid. Thus my wishing that I would just go to sleep and not wake up.

Megan from Has gotten going on the hat for Otis. I am very happy. I have placed my order and paid for it and now just to await the arrival in a few days.

On that note I hope everyone has a great evening / night / morning.


9 responses to “The Kind Of Day You Wish Could Be Your Last

  1. *hugs*. You seem like a really nice person. I hope you feel better soon. The world needs all of the good people it can get :)

  2. Thank you very much. I wish I could see a day when I was going to be better. Unfortunately that is not going to happen. The best now is live each day as best as possible and hope that the good days out number the bad days. I hate to tell you this but I am sure that you have heard it many times in the past. Nice guys finish last. They are nothing more than a stepping stone. Use em for what you need and toss em away. That is what happens to nice guys. I refuse to change.

  3. Nice guys (or nice people in general, don’t mean to be sexist ) make the world a better place. How do your neighbors feel about their home cooked meal :). I think it is part of the whole depression thing ( the feeling of finishing last). Depression is very common with chronic pain. I hope your good days outnumber your bad as well and I look forward to your blog

  4. I am Megan’s mom and felt so bad reading about Otis, but read your blog and please don’t lose hope. My husband also suffers from back pain from a botched back surgery. Always remember that your an important person to someone and they need you. I know words can’t take away the pain you have but please know you are in my prayers.

  5. Thank you for your kind words. I was spared the wrath of the surgery, because I waited 4 years from the actual injury before I had sought out medical help for it. I waited to long!!! They could not help. They tried to do nerve blocks and I am (sorry to say) over joyed that I was not an eligible candidate for that treatment. I could not handle those needles going into my spine more than the one trial event. I have somehow managed to survive this for 10 years now. Yes there have been times that I often thought of taking my life. I could not do it in fear of not succeeding. I do the best that I can. I know that this is never going to get better, I know that as time goes by that the drugs that keep me in an upright position will fail me. For now I do the best I can without allowing the doctors increasing the medication. Once I am beyond that point I don’t know. I was in the vegetative state once before compliments of doctors over medicating me. Not going down that road again. As long as I can hold my own, live a semi productive life I am good to go. Beyond that I can’t say for sure.
    Otis is the real reason for me being as good as I am. I would not have pushed myself to get out of the bed if not for him. He gives me what I need to go. He is now blind and hasn’t stopped doing what he loves best. Sort of an if he can overcome the issues so can I program. Otis is my incentive program.
    I am not important to anyone any longer, as I don’t let anyone get close to me. Better that way for me anyhow.
    I have learned over the past years that when I was at my sickest ( five years) that the so called friends that I had not once phoned or checked up on me, no one knew what happened to me I just vanished. ( I never moved or anything) they just never came. I did for others all my life and that was the payment. I learned my actual value in others eyes. So I made the decision to do it on my own.
    Again thank you for your kind words.
    Brightest Blessings

  6. That is good that you were able to get up and do the cooking and was really a very kind thing to do, by sharing with your neighbors. You sound like a really awesome, and nice guy.
    I understand when you say you aren’t going to get better. That’s what I try to tell people. None of my diseases are curable. When people say I hope you get better, I’ve come to think that what they really mean, if they know anything about us, is they wish us to have a “better” day, as some days are “better” than others, not to be confused with us being or feeling better. With that being said, I hope you are having a “better” day.
    As hard as it may be, I try to keep going, even if that means staying in bed. I can still journal, blog, skype, read, do Sudoku puzzles to keep my mind sharp. I’ve given up many times and with the help of some great therapists, I’m better coping with the hand that I’ve been dealt, for the moment. As you already know, it’s one hell of a roller coaster ride, with all the ups and downs. All we can do, is to do the best we can. There will always be those “dark”, “bad” days, as I call them.
    From what I’ve read on your blog, so far, you are doing the best you can and have a very big heart. I wish you the best on your journey. I’ll be following your blog, as I can really relate to a lot of what you have to say and do. Have a “good” day.

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